House Hunting and morning constitutions

As most of you know, I am not one who is graceful, nor do I ever demonstrate symptoms of what you would call "Good Luck". It just doesn't happen.
I ask you then: how is it possible that the first boarding house I look at was absolutely perfect in every way? The rent is nice a cheap, the rooms are good-smelling and inviting, there is a kitchen, a wonderful land-lady, internet, washer and dryer, toilet paper, etc. etc. [no phone...argh...i don't want to get a cell phone]. Did I mention that it is so unbelieveably close to campus. Did I mention that there is no meal plan? Did I mention that Cheryl (the owner) can teach me cooking skills...life skills, essentially? A-ha!
I'll tell you why all of this goodness has been thrust forth in my direction: it is because of the fact that I have to con two other girls into living with me in order to shank the top floor. Yes. There is always a catch. I will use my outrageously awesome advertising skills. The first step would be to acquire some outrageously awesome advertising skills.
Hmmm...for all of you ladies out there (*cough lauren *cough)...it is sooooooo close to campus and soooooo nice.
I think the best part about all of this was when I finally told my parents...today. My dad is currently typing out a legal and binding agreement/lease to the apartment for Cheryl to sign. it just states when I will be living there and how much we agree rent to be. That is a sure sign that this man has been ripped off by more salesmen than you can shake a stick at. [Now, how many of you are picturing yourself shaking a stick at someone/something?] Yes...he is ridiculous...but oh so handy to have around.
So yes. This means that I might have to cook for myself sometimes...moreso if I excommunicate the handy man that I associate casually with. The question is: will the caf food kill me before my own cooking does?
May God have mercy on the family that has to survive on my cooking in the future. All I can really say is that I'm looking forward to some nice, solid morning constitutions next year as the result of my caf-food deprivation. Sick...but so true.